Who is that person staring at me ?
Her hair’s a mess it’s pink and green.
Her face is flushed , her eyes are weary.
Her arm shakes a lot and she’s incredibly teary.
She has memory problems she forgets to breathe !
And some days it slips her mind, how to write and read.
Im not frightened of her, I’d easy get away,
Her legs are all so shaky they spasm and sway!
I do feel sorry for her as she’s a prisoner in her home.
Really frustrating, when at one time she was active, loved to roam.
When she got ill people said they would help most offers were fruitless,
I suppose as it wasn’t their life they were too busy so didn’t careless.
A burden to everyone is how she felt,
Her husband kept saying it’s just the cards they were dealt.
No matter how hard she tried …….
She was sad every night she’d bury her head and violently cried.
Who is that stranger who’s now looking at me?
There are a few things in common that we have I do see.
No dear God please tell me that’s not who I think it may be!
Our eyes meet, a few things I recognise;
Like the scar just above my left eye.
I got that scar when i was climbing a hill,
My life was full of adventure my passion was finding that next thrill.
Then bang the adventure stopped along with my heart,
My husband and family still keep trying to give it a kick start.
I’m not me I don’t know who I am!
I try to move my foot and get twitches in my hand.
I do Keep on trying hard to find a way to fit back in.
But my arms can’t push this wheelchair, it’s a useless heavy thing.
I try to walk but my legs give way,
Unable to breathe I fall to the floor and in silence I lay.
Trapped inside, my house,my head and this body a prisoner tormented for another day.
Who’s this person laying on the floor?
Errm I can’t remember but I once knew her I don’t anymore.
Sometimes we lose ourselves when we become ill as it stops us from living our lives the way we are used to living it.
We have to find new things to enjoy or adapt ways to still do the activities that you like with specialist equipment. The key is to be pro active in trying new things. The alternative if just sitting in your chair and giving up .
I know it’s not easy and the mental battle is as hard as the physical battle and honestly I don’t know if you can be truly happy again. But I know that I’d rather give it a shot than do nothing .
This year I have done things I never dreamed I would . I have had moments of feeling good about myself again .
I urge everyone to try something different this year . Something challenging. Something that pushes them .
Merry Christmas and lots of love to all ☃️🎄🎁🎅