So if you remember, last friday my Gym instructor (Elvis 👨‍🎤) told me he had annual leave this week but had put things in place for another instructor to look after me.

Needless to say i didn’t take the news very well and had few tears whist slumped on the hand bike . One second i was elated because I’d just beat my record and the next i felt overwhelmed with anxiety and panic and i didn’t know how i was going to manage to go on without 🎤 being there (well the crutch that i knew and felt comfortable with).

So on Monday i wandered in feeling anxious panicking, i think already feeling defeated maybe. I also think that this is part of living with a chronic illness.

If i explain, if you get a headache you know even though it’s painful, that if you take paracetamol it’ll go and you’ll be as good as new. With chronic headaches you actually feel like this one is going to finish you off and if it doesn’t you are praying it does as the pain is intense that you don’t care if you live you just need it to stop. If you are lucky you may find a combination of treatments that may help. Either way you live /wait in fear for the next attack .

Now this can be the same for any chronic conditions . Oh and just to point it’s not always visible if someone has a long term/chronic illness or not, so don’t judge, it’s amazing what a bit of make-up can do 😁

So i was scared about going but i went because i made a commitment to myself. I also am so grateful to be exercising again that i didn’t want to miss.

Started off a bit 😣🤐😲😫😭😢but then found my rythm.

Got to Wednesday and my head started. Everytime i took a breathe this bolt of lightning like pain . I had to stop have my oxygen which did ease it for awhile. Since then I’ve struggled a little but……..

I did it! I finished my week 😁 Mega chuffed with myself . Ding ding shake shake the room 🎶🎵.

The last day was the hardest but i just thought about my children .

The final thing i thought I’d share is that

🎼I’ve got a lovely pair of ccccccc kidneys 🎶📻

Had my scan today and i have a pair 😉😁.

Hope you’re all having a ……..

……Cracking weekend so far😁