There’s a Storm…

There’s a Storm is on it’s way…

Quick pull down the sails and stow things away.

It came unexpected so we weren’t prepared.

Main sail sheets got tangled and the actual sail teared.

Below deck the boat was badly listing ,

We’d radioed for help but no one was listening!

Bruised and battered huddled together we lay,

This storm showed no signs of going away.

Move on storm leave us be,

We can’t take anymore my family and me.

I stumbled on deck to check all the rigging ,

Parts of our boat were breaking off and going missing.

We need to do something we are going to die,

Please someone help us I screamed up to the sky.

I try to be calm so the kids don’t panic too,

But my shaken demeanour’s too easy to see through.

What’s up mum ,what’s going on?

I played down all the fears I had on deck whilst i was gone.

The boat is damaged and nobody hear our cries,

The Storm continues on and on in my head i say my goodbyes.

Lost at sea nobody around to hear our calls,

This boat slowly sinking I tried to keep it afloat but couldn’t I’m sorry I send my love to you all …..

Joanne Quinnell

This is the reason why I’m passionate and sometimes get a little bit too emotional at trying to get support and raise awareness for young carers and their families in my area.

Any situation that goes in and causes damage to a family can feel unbearable to deal with.

I guess being a sailor that was the best analogy for me.

Sometimes you just get dealt the bad hand .

It feels like you are sinking, powerless.

These services are supposed to be out there to support our children and us so we can steer our own way again.

They aren’t young carers are socially isolated, drop out of college struggle with friendships .

Families still dont have access to correct equipment wheelchairs etc so they can spend time with their families.

It’s a vicious horrible circle.

Blank Canvass

Who am I?

A mother a wife ,

Someone from another life….

I haven’t got a clue.

Have you?

When I was little I was all alone,

Aged 17 i left home, around the world I roamed.

Having so much fun,

Much more confident I had become.

I went Sailing on the sea,

Young single so happy and carefree.

Feeling in control,

Yet no plans with life I’d just roll.

Maybe that’s life’s mystery,

The way to be ultimately happy.

Not to plan too far ahead ,

To see what happens instead.

Fell in love and started a family,

Lots of adventures we were very happy.

I had painted a picture,

Of how I wanted my future.

Illness and disability ruined that dream,

Or I could say my canvas has been wiped clean?

But who am I, how do I re start ,

I’m not 17 I’m middle aged it’s hard.

I have a blank canvass the choice is mine,

Find myself…. learn to live or just wait to die.

Joanne Quinnell

Let’s Go to the Moon

What shall I do today?

I’ll take the kids to the park to play.

Or maybe climb a hill ,

Reaching the top looking down is such a thrill.

Maybe I can go shopping,

Buy a new outfit for the weekend to go disco bopping.

Building sandcastles on the beach,

The sun so hot biting into a really juicy peach.

Go for an adventure on my bike,

Round mountains , lakes through dykes.

A bbq under the stars ,

Planning a trip to the moon and then Mars.

Maybe go to a gig to watch a live band,

Dance and laugh all night with a drink in hand.

Wake up !!!

I quickly dry my eyes,

No one to see my cries.

It was all but just a dream,

Nothing is what it seems.

The truth is hard to bare,

I’m stuck in a wheelchair.

Wait !!!

So am I going to just give up?

Is my life going to stop?

All isolated and alone,

My only company my phone.

Things have changed I’m not going to lie,

But every day I am going to try,

Go on adventures ,finding a way,

Knowing that I will definitely get there one day.

Joanne Quinnell

I’m so Dizzy … 🎵🎶 Hello Vic Reeves 🕺

The Year has started with a bang ! Pleased to see madness bringing in the new year (at home watching the tv ) with my 3 youngest.

Husband was working as usual . We indulged (big mistake ) and attempted to sing Auld lang syne getting fed up half way through as we still shamefully don’t know the words.

Later that evening after husband got home (thank goodness it was after) the middle one threw up everywhere having indulged a little too much eating doritos and malteesers together .

At this point the stresses of Christmas, having the extension built over Christmas and shall we say a slightly challenging teenager I was forgetting to look at my end game goals .

On my return back to the gym I thought I’d go for a long handbike ride but take it slow . I did level 20 for 20 km in 84mins !!!!! What a start 💪

All going well at the gym my refuge , therapy , place of hope , my future as that is where I will get strong enough to make things happen for myself. Then BANG my Benign positional vertigo or bppv for short came on .
BPPV is caused when loose chalk crystals get into the wrong part of the inner ear. These microscopic crystals should be embedded in a lump of jelly. The crystals weigh the jelly down and make that part of the ear sensitive to gravity. The crystals are constantly being re-absorbed and re-formed and over time fragments come loose. Lying flat can then occasionally cause some of the loose debris to fall into one of the semi-circular canals; the parts of the ear responsible for sensing rotation. Movement in the plane of the affected canal causes the crystals to move along the canal, stimulating it and giving the sensation of rotation.

The vertigo is generally rotational (like getting off a roundabout) but sometimes sufferers, on lying down, will feel that they are falling through the bottom of the bed or, on getting up, that they are being thrown back onto it. The classic provoking movements to induce BPPV are: lying flat, sitting up from lying flat; turning over in bed; looking up (e.g. hanging washing) or bending down, especially if also looking to the side. The duration of the vertigo is brief; usually five to 30 seconds but very occasionally lasts up to two minutes.

I’ve had this reoccurring for 8 years now . To clear it i had something called the Epley maneuver preformed on me .

It’s been in both ears but the right ear was the worst . The Epley would maybe clear it for a week then it would be back again.

So about a year and a half ago I had the operation to get my right ear plugged. This is supposed to stop the particles from moving. I have lost some hearing and sensation but until this week it did settle.

Yes you’ve guessed it … my world had started spinning again. I wish I could say it’s due to a bottle of wine but no it’s not. An A&E doctor did try and clear it yesterday for me but it’s not worked . From what we did yesterday it looks like both ears are affected 😞.

I would physically and mentally like a break . It’s not going to stop me though I’m still going to be doing what I do I’ll just need to make sure I’m seated or holding onto someone.

So if I look drunk or sound drunk I’m most probably not as I don’t usually drink but if I’m totally stressed I might be persuaded to have a tipple or if I’m going to my friends house as she makes good cocktails.

Hope everyone’s New Year got off to a good start. I’m working towards my goals keep working towards yours.

Joanne

I can feel it in my water…..

Exciting times ahead this year !

1. I’m going to be a grandma (well mar mar joe ) in may.

2. We are fortunate enough to be getting a ground floor extension built. It’s been a nightmare having it built over Christmas but the builders are doing an amazing job.

The ground floor extension will make a difference to my independence and hopefully mean I can do a lot more for myself and my family.

Also we are getting slopes put on both doors so I can get out safely.

I’m really looking forwards to being able to get into my back yard in the summer with the children.

One of the biggest things about the ground floor extension is having a toilet downstairs. My beloved camping toilet can finally retire and the children can finally have friends around for tea or to play without the fear their mum needs to have a wee in the hallway whilst they are here !

The workmen are doing an amazing job despite it being so cold wet and windy at times they have battled on and it is looking fantastic so far .

3. Bendrigg trust is booked for the summer a weekend for the family again and then a week just for me.

It’s a fantastic place that enables people of all abilities to be able to do activities just like everyone else. They have adapted equipment and trained staff to support people to do this.

4. I’m continuing to work out at the gym . It’s more like physiotherapy for me in a way. If I don’t go I stiffen up and get sore. I’m lucky in that if I stay focus and relax my ventilator works for my vocal cord dysfunction whilst I’m exercising.

I want to get as strong as I can on this journey.

5. I recieved a letter from London regarding an appointment for being assessed for a months stay at a neuropsychotherapy hospital for treatment.

6. I’m looking forward to getting out on my handbike more this year with the kids.

7. Going to master using public transportation.

8. Superhero tri again hopefully…..

So many good things to focus on .

2018 some parts were fantastic but some parts were blooming horrible. Lowest , frustrating time in my life.

2019 is going to be amazing I just know it …. I can feel it in my water !!!

Wish you all a good year too 😁

Joanne

Happy New Year

So the end of 2018 draws near

It’s been filled with laughter, excitement, pain and tears.

The lesson I’ve learnt is to give things a go,

Adapt, adjust, you might manage it you never know.

In 2019 set yourself some goals,

Maybe skydiving, playing golf or going to bingo with the girls.

Anything you said that you wanted to do,

Just give it a go I bet it will happen for you.

Joanne Quinnell

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! All the best for 2019 may all your dreams and desires come true….. go chase them people. 🙂